Quotables: John Mayer Used to Be a Little Crazy I Guess

“I lost my head for a little while. I lost touch and I didn’t want to ask for directions. I did a couple really dumb interviews and it woke me up. … [It was] a very strange time. I’m glad I actually stayed out of the spotlight. Back then I would’ve said, ‘Let me get out and do Ellen and explain myself.’ It was like, ‘No, idiot. Go away – be 33 and 34 instead of 28 for the fourth year.’ I can’t sing, so I’m writing. I live in Montana – middle of nowhere. It’s really excellent. You get to a certain age where you prepare yourself for happiness. Sometimes you never remember to actually get happy. I remembered to get happy.”

Wow. Where did the douchebag we all not-so-affectionately called douchebag go? Oh, right—Montana. No, but really, he sounds good. He sounds like a dude who’s been through it and has learned. He sounds like what Lindsay Lohan should have sounded like three or four years ago, but it’s another story for another day, that.

Anyway, as much as I’ll miss hearing stories about addictive Tweeting and racist penises, and what it was like to bone some of Hollywood’s A-list women, I’m glad he’s doing well, all things considered.

Source: evilbeetgossip

Quotables: Bristol Palin Says to Stop Bullying Bristol Palin

You know you’ve struck a nerve when even J-Woww tweets insults at you. But the thing that most amazes me is how few people actually addressed the points I made in my recent blog post. They were pretty simple. Conservative women like my mom get grief because people think they can’t make decisions without their husband, but Barack Obama gets applauded for changing his mind on a huge issue after consulting his wife and young daughters. The double standard amazes me.

Pop culture needs a little bit of debate. It needs a little bit of disagreement. … But what you won’t find is any disagreement about things like gay marriage or abortion. For those folks, there’s one way to think, and anyone who disagrees is stupid, hypocritical, hateful, or bigoted. … If you read the almost 3,000 comments after my controversial post, you’ll see some of the most terrible words against me, my mom, and my entire family.

You’ll see hate in the name of love. People claim they’re just trying to protect the right of two people to love each other – a right I don’t contest, by the way – and then spew the worst words imaginable at someone they disagree with. If the agenda is love, why do you hate so intensely? You’ll see bullying in the name of tolerance. Around Hollywood, there’s lots of concern and great initiatives to try to encourage more kindness in this world. Then why do I get so many messages telling me I should die?

Oh, now Bristol‘s an anti-bullying feminist who wants you to … I don’t know what. I don’t get where she’s going with the Obama thing. Yeah, she makes a good case about bullying, and it’s definitely not OK to bully someone for, you know, bullying, but that’s basically what she’s been doing this entire time, now, hasn’t it? Telling gays that they shouldn’t get married because it’s “unnatural” and suggesting that those who are gay are puerile and immature and haven’t grown up yet? It’s like, “Wait. I’m sorry, what?”

The post goes on to further ostracize people for disagreeing with her (and in this case, I’m not talking about those who are infinite hate-mongers who can only insult and call her “fat” and “stupid” and “retarded,” because those who can’t make a point during an argument without swearing and insulting and carrying on don’t make much of a point either, I’m afraid), and you can read it in its entirety here.

All I know is that it’s pretty damned convenient that Bristol’s in the process of putting the final touches on her new reality show, Life’s a Tripp, right? … No? Complete coincidence? Right. I totally thought so, too, but I had to ask my husband to be sure.

Source: evilbeetgossip

Quotables: Russell Brand Tells Heckler How Tired He Is

“I want to see what this person looks like, turn the lights on for me because I really want to achieve some sort of confirmation. Let’s have a look…Come here, let’s see you. Let’s see how your mental illness looks in the daylight. … It’s you, is it? Oh, dear. I was hoping that your personality was just a result of physical beauty. But then I saw you. I thought, ‘This guy’s confident, probably, because he’s incredibly handsome,’ but look at you. You look like somebody who’s fallen off the outside of a church. And what is it that you have rattling around your mind, some bizarre combination of alcohol and idiocy…some cocktail of nothing. And yet the confidence to continue shouting. They say of course, don’t they, that empty vessels make the most noise. What an enormous echo of nothingness from you. I know on some level, despite your physical appearance to an ape, that you’re a human being. I think silence is your friend. I think keep your lips firmly, firmly clamped together. Because everything that comes out of your mouth, from your idiotic announcements to your disgusting halitosis that’s coming through this room, is an abomination.”

That would be Russell Brand, or if we’re speaking frankly and plainly, “awesomeness embodied,” telling a heckler who yelled “Katy Perry” intermittently during the first half of Russell Brand’s comedy set at a casino in Atlantic City earlier in the week.

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m not a very big Russell Brand fan. And generally, I think anything that comes out of his mouth is contrived, empty, and for the gratifying benefit of hearing himself speak, but in this case, I think I’m willing to make an exception. Come on. Won’t you?

Update: Here’s the video!

Source: evilbeetgossip

Quotables: Kristen Stewart Talks Snow White, Is Confusing About It

“I think that I related to Snowy because … I love her. She feels such strong things and sort of can’t say exactly why she feels those things … and I can completely relate to that and I also can relate to feeling arrogant about it a little bit. Sort of like ‘It’s not about being who you are; it’s sort of not saying what everyone thinks I’m going to say because I’m uncomfortable’ … She’s like very instinctive and sort of awesome in that way. I mean she’s such a child in the beginning and has such a strong sense of self in a way that sort of isn’t normal, like supernaturally almost. She’s got this connection to the Earth and to her people that makes her like so truly empathetic and not sympathetic. She’s not putting herself in a position and going, ‘Oh, how horrible would that be for me.’ She’s truly bleeding for other people. It’s a different feeling. It’s something I want to get to if I can be a better person. She’s a great girl. She’s a good person.”

… What?

No, ok, I understand some of what Kristen Stewart is trying to say here. She thinks Snow White is a wonderful person. That’s cool, I guess, and I get what she’s saying towards the end there, where she goes on about Show White’s connection to her people. But what is all that mess in the middle, that talk about arrogance? This bit in particular:

“She feels such strong things and sort of can’t say exactly why she feels those things … and I can completely relate to that and I also can relate to feeling arrogant about it a little bit. Sort of like ‘It’s not about being who you are; it’s sort of not saying what everyone thinks I’m going to say because I’m uncomfortable.’”

Seriously, what does that even mean? Is she trying to say that she feels arrogant about not being able to express herself? Is she arrogant about having feelings that are so strong that they are hard to express? Then how does being uncomfortable come into it? Does she feel superior because she’s awkward and passionate? I don’t understand.

And listen, I’m not trying to come down on her for this. It’s not because I’m a Kristen Stewart fan or anything, it’s just because I don’t think it’s fair to criticize someone when you have no clue what the hell she’s trying to say. And actually, this makes me feel a bit closer to Kristen, because I’m really bad at talking too. I had to make a doctor’s appointment this morning, and I spent five minutes thinking about what exactly I would say, and how to answer any questions I might be asked. I took time to be like “should I say that I need to make an appointment or should I ask if I can make an appointment,” that’s how awkward I am with talking. I feel like Kristen and I are, in some ways, on a similar level when it comes to socializing, so I can’t really dislike her too much for the stupid shit she says in interviews anymore.

But still, no clue what she’s trying to communicate here. No clue at all.

Source: evilbeetgossip

Quotables: Lestat and Louie Pity The Cullens

“Lestat and Louie feel sorry for vampires that sparkle in the sun. They would never hurt immortals who choose to spend eternity going to high school over and over again in a small town — anymore than they would hurt the physically disabled or the mentally challenged. My vampires possess gravitas. They can afford to be merciful.”

- Anne Rice gets catty about Twilight.

Pardon me, friends, while I laugh for days. Stephenie Meyer‘s glittery creations have been on my mind more than usual, both because of the Breaking Dawn film, which can’t come any sooner, and because the boyfriend has started reading the books and it tickles me so (my favorite comments include “does she ever stop talking about how pretty he is? She just said that he was reminiscent of an ancient Pagan god of beauty. Is she really talking about his liquid topaz eyes?”). That also means that the superior Anne Rice’s comment hits my funny bone harder than it would have otherwise.

But let’s go ahead and get to the main issue here:

Whose vampires are better?

• 
  
  Anne Rice's: why is this even a question?
  


• 
  
  Stephenie Meyer's: Cullens forever!
  

View Results

Source: EvilBeetGossip.com

Quotables: Kim Kardashian’s Just Not Ready Yet, Guys

“I don’t think I’m ready to go into details of what went on in my marriage.”

Kim Kardashian on (what else) her brand-new divorce. What I say, now, as if there was any question to begin with, is that this whole damn thing is BULLSHIT. You know the kind, stinking, steaming-in-the-autumn-air pile of DUNG.

I mean, first the reason was “private,” then the reason was because she felt rushed and pressured, and now there’s supposed to be some kind of big scandal behind the actual reason she dumped her poor, clueless troll like Khloe’s used Chinese takeout boxes? Now she’s insinuating that “details” actually happened in this two-month-long marriage? What the hell kind of “details” were there time for? Please. If this doesn’t completely REEK of publicity stunt, I’ll eat my dad-gum laptop.

Also, it’s amazing how Tums really do squash heartburn instantly, because after reading this quote I seriously threw up in my mouth a little bit. Thanks, GlaxoSmithKline, you’re totally the most.

Source: EvilBeetGossip.com